


Restless to Climb

by hermionebennet



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Coming of Age, F/M, Friendship can get you anywhere, Vanessa and Nina help each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2018-11-21 03:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11348754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermionebennet/pseuds/hermionebennet
Summary: A rewriting of In the Heights but in Vanessa's and Nina's point of view. I don't pretend knowing these characters better than their creators but I can identify myself into some of the stuff they're going through in the show. I just like to write about them and I wanted to imagine more of their friendship. Both of these characters are similar because they are growing up and they want to succeed but like most of us they have no idea how they want to achieve it.Once again I don't know how many chapters this fic is going to be and I don't know how long it's going to take me to write it down.I'm also very sorry about any mistakes but English is not my native language.





	1. Chapter 1 - Vanessa

Chapter 1

 

Nina was back and everyone was cheerful. Everyone but Vanessa. That was weird because Nina had always been Vanessa's friend for as long as both could remember. And then Nina had left for Stanford last summer and Vanessa had stayed behind. Alone. Vanessa first heard the news one morning on her way to Usnavi's bodega as Nina's parents were leaving their place to go to work.

“Hey Vanessa, Nina's coming home next week!!” Camilla told her as soon as she saw Vanessa.

“Excuse her Vanessa we've just got Nina on the phone and apparently now the whole barrio is going to hear the news.” Kevin apologised.

“What are you saying? Weren't you planning to tell everyone on your old dispatch?” Camilla snapped.

“Anyways that's great news. You both must be very happy. I know you were very sad not to see her during the last holidays.” Vanessa was trying to change the subject or the couple would argue for hours.

“Yes but you know what it's like with all the paperwork and the essays. She's been very busy being our little star”.

 _Well, no actually I have no idea what it's like,_ thought Vanessa. She had dropped school as soon as she could because she had to take care of her mother. Her family was not what we could call caring and the only way for her to be sure that they have something to eat or just a roof over their heads was if she was the one to pay for it. She often thought it was a relief her mother was either too drunk or too old to have another child now as Vanessa would be the one in charge if it happened. Everyone in the barrio knew that Vanessa's only wish was to leave this place and that she was working very hard to have enough money to pay for the rent of a flat downtown. It's not that she didn't like school, she had been an excellent student. Well for some classes at least. Most of her teachers thought she was very clever and some even tried to make her stay at school but she couldn't wait any longer. She had to do something. She had to find a way to change her future and school could not help her achieve this.

“We are planning a big dinner when she's finally there, hope you'll make it”.

“Sure, I'll be happy to see Nina.” Vanessa had answered.

 

Nina had arrived the night before and Vanessa had been avoiding her. The same way she had been avoiding her for months on the phone. She would always pretend that she had just missed her calls or that she was busy with work or with her mother. She would call Nina so late that she knew she would never answer. She would leave voicemails and she was even able now to sound annoyed about the fact that she couldn't reach her friend. Calls from both sides became less and less frequent as the two young women were busy in their own way. Vanessa hoped that Nina had made some friends. It's not that she didn't want to talk to her anymore it's just that it had become more and more difficult to pretend to be happy for her. It's not that she was not happy for her either but seeing Nina moving on with her life and fulfilling her dreams forced her to realise that she wasn't going anywhere. She was in the barrio and it seemed that there was no way for her to get out of this place. Sure she had been happy here, she had many friends and many people who loved her and cared for her. Even if her work at the salon was not exactly the most exciting job in the world at least Daniela was nice to her and paid her more than she deserved. She just knew that if she stayed here nothing special would ever happen to her and she couldn't bear it. Everyone admired her beauty but she was so much more than that. She wasn't shallow, she had just created some mask she could hide behind to protect herself. She didn't want anyone to turn her away from her plan. She wanted to see the world, she wanted to meet new people, new cultures, open her mind a bit more. She wanted to know what it was to live in luxury, she didn't want to be a ghetto princess as some boys called her here. She was a queen and she wanted to rule the world and change it. In her own way. Ambition had always been a part of her personnality and she had never beeen ashamed of it though she didn't speak about it to anyone. Vanessa was dreaming about it. Nina was working her way to it. It was difficult for Vanessa to be left behind. She was happy that Nina got so much attention, she deserved it and it was for a great reason. Vanessa was just tired of hearing how intelligent and successful was Nina as if Nina was the only smart and hardworking person in this place. She hoped Nina had been too busy to notice Vanessa's change of behaviour. She hoped she wouldn't have to explain everything, she didn't want to show her true feelings. Not that she was ashamed or scared but she wasn't sure she would be able to explain them without sounding jealous. She was not jealous. It was more complicated than that. She didn't want to lose time and energy about this. She had plans. She had to move on. She couldn't let her feelings meddle with what she had to do.

And now what she had to do was calling the landowner for a flat she knew was for rent. The call didn't go as planned. Mr. Johnson wanted the money for the security deposit and he wanted the money now. “I swear I got this money. It's locked in a box in the bottom of my closet” she told him on the phone. Well the last time she checked the money was there. She moved her head in order to say hello to the boys behind the counter. Usnavi was there of course and so were Sonny and Benny. They were all listening to what she was saying and they seemed to be waiting for something. Men always expected something from her whether it was a smile or way more than that. Now was not the moment but she could play along with it. She ended her call asking Mr. Johnson if they could meet later so they could talk about her lease. He didn't refuse. They never did. She looked at Usnavi with a smile on her face. She felt playful and she knew he liked it.

“You owe me a bottle of champagne” she said.

“Really? Are you moving?” he asked not really smiling anymore.

“Just a little credit check and I leave this place forever”, she couldn't hide her happiness.

“Well it's not champagne yet but your coffee is on the house.”

“Thanks Usnavi.” She waited but she heard Benny and Sonny mumble something behind Usnavi and she saw him getting red. Surely they were encouraging him to ask her out.

“I gotta go. See you later.” she said practically running out of the shop.

She didn't want this day to be a bad day and she wasn't sure she could bear an invitation from Usnavi. She really liked him. He was nice and cute in his own way. She knew that he fancied her but so did most of the guys she met. She didn't mind turning them down but Usnavi was different she didn't want to hurt his feelings. He deserved more than what she could give him. Usnavi was everything she couldn't be. He was rooted into this block and didn't want to move. He didn't want more. He wanted to have a family and as far as she knew this was his only wish. She respected that. To be honest that's one of the thing she liked the most about Usnavi. Whenever she felt overwhelmed and lost he was the anchor she could hold onto so she wouldn't drift away. It didn't mean she wanted to stay stuck in the harbour.

She was now in the salon so she quickly finished her coffee before going inside. She should calm down now because it was not a cheerful day for Daniella and Carla. The salon had to close and move to the Bronx and It was painful for everyone in the block. Coming with a big smile on a day like this would be inconsiderate and Vanessa liked her boss and her friend. She didn't mind this. She would take anything if it meant a change from this routine but she had to admit that it was going to be strange not to see Usnavi every morning and not talk with the same people she saw every single day. _“Come on Vanessa, breathe and smile. It will be fine.”_ she told herself and she finally opened the door.

 


	2. Chapter 2 - Nina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I would like to thank the people who left comments on this fic.  
> It's been almost a year since I started this one and chapter two has been ready for months. I hope I'll manage to continue and that you will like it. Please remember that English is not my native language and that it's MY vision of what the characters might feel. Enjoy!!!

Nina was nervous about this trip home. Actually she wasn't sure whether she should call this a trip or a journey. It would be kind of an adventure for her to face the consequences of what she had done and what she had not told. This first year at Stanford had been more complicated than she had expected. She was used to being the best in everything she did and at Stanford she was average. Well even less than average. She had not succeeded in any of her classes. She had lost her scholarship and here she was. Back in Washington Heights where everyone took her future success for granted. She couldn't blame them. She was the first one from the barrio to go to college. No one there knew how difficult it was. The neighbourhood high school hadn't prepared her for that. She would spend all her days working, reading and studying but it wasn't enough.

As soon as she had received her first grades her anxiety attacks came back. She would barely eat for days and then throw herself on food so hard that she would get sick. On these days she would cry herself to sleep hating herself. She felt she was a failure and that everyone would be disappointed by her. She was letting them down.

Her plane arrived at three A.M. that morning and she hadn't been able to sleep since then. Now she was still in bed looking at the ceiling. She could hear her parents getting ready for work. If she was brave she could get over with it. All she had to do was getting up and and then she could tell them everything. That would ease her mind but that would ruin their day and they were so happy she was back. She had been keeping her secrets for months now she could wait a little more. She knew her mother had invited her friends to celebrate her return. Telling her parents how big a disappointment she was would have to wait. She would try to put on a big smile and pretend everything was fine. She could do that, right? She was good at pretending by now. She felt tears swelling into her eyes and she managed to hold them back. _“Breathe, Nina. Just breathe.”_ She told herself.

She heard the entry door being open and then closed and she sighed. She looked at her walls. There were posters of Stanford on two of them. She had worked so hard to get accepted there. Her parents were sacrificing so much so she could attend. She knew they had it especially hard this year. Her father owned a taxi company which employed many men from the block. He had to dismiss two of them because he couldn't afford to pay them anymore. She could imagine how guilty he must have felt. This company made both of her parents proud. They had built it from scratches and until recently it had been the most successful business of the Heights helping the other businesses to thrive. Things were changing now, the people in the neighbourhood were changing. New businesses were opening and the old ones were closing one after the other. She could barely recognise some streets with all those hipster boutiques replacing the old bodegas. Usnavi was the last survivor of this massive urban hurricane that had fallen upon them. They lived on what felt like an island. Human castaways thrown away by huge waves of pretentious shops selling expensive lattes.

She finally got up of her bed and walked towards the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and felt even more miserable. She would have to try harder if she needed to convince the neighbourhood that everything was fine for her. She looked bad. She had never been a vain person but she considered herself pretty or at least the joy emanating from her made her good looking. She had this light in her eyes especially when she was talking of something she was passionate about. But the light was gone and it was replaced by big bags under her eyes. Souvenirs left by too many weeks spent sleeping badly, worrying. She knew that when they would see her they would know. They would be able to tell that she lied to them for all these months. That she was a mess. That they should be ashamed of her. The tears were coming back. Nina could not stand this little voice in her head telling her all these awful thoughts. But it was her voice she was hearing so it had to be true. She started to get dressed. She really needed to get out of this place and see someone. Talk to someone. She nearly ran out of the building and she heard all the familiar noises of the street. The cries of “Piragua! Piragua” were like a lullaby to her ears. People were playing cards in the street, they were talking or singing on the music of a nearby radio. Soon she saw them. They were sitting on the front steps of Abuela's building and they were talking. Usnavi looked anxious and Abuela was obviously trying to change the subject of their conversation. When she got closer Usnavi saw her and hugged her. He had always been some kind of a protective brother to her. Always talking about her with pride. Still it was nothing compared to Abuela.

Nina almost rushed into her arms, finally feeling at home. The old woman looked more exhausted than the last time she had seen her. Nevertheless she welcomed Nina with the warmest and full of love hug anyone could give. She had sent her care packages to Stanford all year long and it had really helped her. The three of them joked about the Heights and Nina's “success” at college. Usnavi's cousin Sonny joined them. Nina could not believe how much he had grown in just one year. She knew him from since he was a baby. She even used to babysit him.

“Look who's a grown bear!!”

His smile was huge and reminded her of the sun. He looked so proud and kind of ,well, flirty. That was new and disturbing. He put his arm on the wall just beside her and started leaning towards her.

“Hey Nina. Glad you're back.” He winked at her.

“Who's watching the shop?” Usnavi asked him. He started throwing glances at the bodega. Nina knew how much he cared for his parents' shop. It was the only thing they left him and even though he was often talking of going back to Puerto Rico she knew he would miss it deeply.

“Yo, cous'! You're ruining the moment” Sonny hissed at Usnavi.

“Well you should hope that nobody's in there or trust me you won't get paid.” Usnavi threatened. Sonny lowered his head and Nina recognised the child he used to be and still was. He started to retreat to the shop sulkily and Nina laughed. Usnavi followed him but just before going inside he turned to Nina.

“Step by later!” he smiled and left.

Abuela Claudia was still holding Nina's hands in hers like she was trying to warm them. She was looking at her in such a loving way that Nina felt her heart was going to burst from too much tenderness. She finally spoke.

“I would like to thank you for the recipes you've sent me.” She said with a trembling voice.

“I had to make sure you remember the flavours of home.” Claudia answered. “Have you eaten this morning?” The woman was not blind, she saw that Nina had changed. She had lost a lot of weight and her skin was dull from the lack of sun. She had spent the last months laying on the couch or working night shifts in fast food restaurants. She hadn't seen the sun for such a long time.

“I'm still jetlagged. I could'nt swallow anything.” She said in a small voice not even looking into Claudia's eyes.

“Don't worry, _estrella_. I'll put the kettle on and make you some breakfast.” Claudia told her. The idea of cooking food seemed to wake her up. She was one of those people who managed to share their love in the food they prepare. As if it was some magical potion and that love could be transfer through the work of their own hands. Nina had to admit, after having eaten her third serving of whatever dish Claudia had made, that good food and good company could really help healing a broken heart.

 


End file.
